It’s Monday afternoon as I put these words down. As any sane Moldavian, I should be celebrating Maia Sandu’s victory in the presidential election, marking her second term. But my feelings are far from joyful and the taste of victory feels so bitter.

Just hours have passed since one of the greatest disappointments of my life was followed by tears of happiness, as I finally realized that the Kremlin failed this time to meddle in my country’s affairs. Once again, the diaspora saved us.

Last night, when the preliminary results were announced, the Kremlin-backed candidate in Moldova’s presidential election was leading the polls by a 2.38% margin. Even though I had promised myself to accept the results with unshaken calm, I couldn’t hold back my emotions. As I nervously scrolled for updates, my heart began to race, and I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks.

After nearly three grueling, blood-soaked years of Russian invasion in neighbouring Ukraine, it seems that Moldavians haven’t fully learned the lesson. When you come from a country where oligarchs steal a billion dollars from your banks in broad daylight, where politicians don’t hide their ‘sponsorship’ and collaboration with Russian intelligence, and where society is fractured by its unconcealed frustrations, it’s impossible to remain indifferent.

Two weeks ago, when Moldavians went to the polls to elect their president and answer “Yes” or “No” to a constitutional amendment for Moldova’s EU accession, we were confident and optimistic about the outcome. But the results felt like a slap in the face.

Suddenly, I felt rootless. My mind couldn’t comprehend how a country that celebrates the achievements of its brightest young minds and daily endures a relentless hybrid war backed by we-know-who still votes to “reestablish diplomatic relations with Moscow”.

My grandfather was born during the Soviet-driven famine of 1946 to 1947, an orchestrated homicide that took 200 000 lives. He never stopped believing in a future within the larger European family, and nothing could shake his convictions.

And yet, despite all the support Moldova receives from its Western allies, it seems it goes unappreciated by many of my folks.

I don’t believe in the power of propaganda. But I do believe that shallow values, the constant undermining of law and the general lack of interest in cognitive cultivation [aka education] lead to the reality that I and many of my peers have been forced to witness in our society.